Once more from the top!
by The fair one
Summary: Snape has to teach a muggle studies class, Sirius helps him with the detail


TITLE: once more from the top!  
  
AUTHOR: The Fair One  
  
PAIRING: SS/HP  
  
RATING: PG  
  
FEEDBACK: Lottie_83uk@yahoo.co.uk. Please I live for input!   
  
DISCLAIMER: Not mine, not making any money (actually just a poor med student) I just borrow them for pleasure.  
  
SUMMARY: Severus has to substitute for a muggle studies teacher; Sirius helps him with the detail.  
  
SPOILERS: Apsolutely none!  
  
Why had he agreed to do this?  
  
Severus looked down at the lesson plan and related 'aids' lying on the desk in front of him, and swallowed hard.  
  
It was usual of course for teachers to substitute for each other in instances of short term absence and illness, so he had thought nothing of accepting the muggle studies class for a single lesson. If he had known the nature of this particular lesson though, he suspected he would have found a good reason not to teach it. Looking down again he read the meticulously written title in his fellow teachers flowing script "love, sex and romance; muggle attitudes towards relationships". These words usually struck terror into his heart singularly. Combined they were his worst nightmare.  
  
Still he had promised, and he was always true to his word. He had a reputation for always being prepared and was not about to allow distaste for the subject mar his teaching. Gathering his 'aids' he nodded once to the headmaster and swept out of the staffroom.  
  
Several hours later and Severus was feeling decidedly non plussed.   
  
He had, had Filch drag the extremely inelegant muggle technology down to the dungeons so that he could review the video and CD material left for him.   
  
After some initial distrust he had actually quite enjoyed the music. For beings isolated from magic some of them made it sound as though they experienced it anyway.   
  
Yet it was the videos which had caused the concern. So far he'd only viewed one of them; a compilation of clips put together to provide a flowing tableau of images of muggle love. Some longer than others they ranged from deeply touching to frankly disturbing; flowers, silk, leather, chains flowed across the screen until Snape was well and truly overawed. One of the longer snippets showing a couple meeting in a nightclub had proved very confusing. However he thought about it Snape simply couldn't comprehend how successful courtship could be achieved in a situation where one could neither hear nor see the other properly.   
  
Deciding he needed fortifying before attempting the remaining films he got up and poured himself a significant quantity of Brandy. Returning to his seat he contemplated his glass; the liquid was fine, particularly so. He silently cursed Malfoy for having given it to him, knowing the man gave him such gifts only to highlight Snape's own relative poverty. Still he mused, fine cognac was perhaps the best fortifying liquor when attempting to probe the complicated corridors of muggle love. Taking a deep draft he pressed the play button and sat back to watch.  
  
An hour later Snape was a much happier man. "Robin Hood Prince Of Thieves" though an indulgent piece of muggle folk law (not to mention a ridiculous portrayal of the magical world) was essentially very good. Unlike the modern and frankly blatant sexual rituals, this (he consulted the lesson notes) "romantic chivalry" was something he could understand. A love which transcended sex, rejected muggle law; a love worth dying for. Yes, he decided replenishing his empty glass; this was a muggle point of view he could definitely follow. Slowly, vaguely feeling the effects of the alcohol he raised his glass to the screen. Toasting Robin who even now was kissing Marian above the body of the newly slain (though strangely attractive his groin noticed) Sheriff of Nottingham.  
  
"to love; Robin of Locksley. To love" he whispered, voice echoing in the darkened potions classroom.  
  
Sirius was bored. He had come back to Hogwarts only at the request of Dumbledore, who had promised that his presence would not be known to anyone outside the order. Typical, he thought. He'd finally got out of hiding only to go back into it as the orders messenger boy.  
  
It wasn't as though many of the order were actually at Hogwarts at present. It was mid term; Remus was away trying to talk some of the more militant werewolf packs into joining the light side. Dumbledore was often away himself, investigating any magical community considered suspect. So the only members of the order in the castle most of the time were himself, and Snape.  
  
Contrary to the years of animosity which had been their school days; Sirius found himself much more willing to tolerate Snape's company. Behind the sarcastic exterior (a protective measure Sirius suspected) Snape wasn't all that bad really. If he was honest they shared many character traits; stubbornness, intelligence and occasionally a certain single minded obsessive ness with the task in hand. Sirius smiled to himself as another theory crossed his mind; perhaps all that sarcastic aggression was a result of years of pent up sexual frustration? Making a mental note to quiz Snape on his exploits in that area until he squirmed, Sirius set off in the direction of the dungeons.  
  
So engrossed was he in the lyrics of the films title theme (mentally filing elements to raise with the students) that he didn't acknowledge the knocking until it became quite loud. Hitting the stop button he straightened his robes and put the glass down. Only with some semblance of order restored did he call out.   
  
"Come" he was glad to hear his voice didn't betray the intoxication presently fizzying his brain.   
  
The door swung open and he found himself relieved to look upon the grinning visage of Sirius Black, better than one of the students he thought. Without waiting for further invitation Sirius came on into the room, looking around him with interest. His gaze alighted on the now blank and flickering screen and he turned to Snape, one eyebrow raised quizzically.  
  
"Television Snape? Never really took you for the muggle loving type."  
  
"It's research Sirius, I'm covering the muggle studies class tomorrow."  
  
A frown crossed the other mans face at this news.  
  
"I could teach that with my eyes closed. Who's spent most time with muggles? Me. Honestly Snape all this hiding doing nothing is driving me crazy."  
  
Snape could think of nothing of comfort to say; instead he poured a second glass of Brandy and handed it to the agitated man, wincing as he downed it in one and proffered the glass to be refilled.  
  
"If that is to be the tone of your drinking Black, I think I have some fire whisky that might suite you better." Sirius looked down into the depths of the empty glass and shrugged, effectively conveying that he didn't care either way. Sighing Snape reclaimed the drinking vessel, and turned to find both whiskey and glassed suitable for drinking it from.   
  
He could hear Sirius moving around behind him; probably examining the muggle items lying on his desk. As if sensing this thought Sirius spoke.  
  
"Phil Collins, Bryan Adams, The Bodyguard; what exactly is this lesson on?  
  
Snape turned and handed him his fire whiskey, before pushing the lesson plan across the desk and standing back to wait for the laughter to subside.  
  
"You? They're letting you teach a lesson in romance? They might as well have asked Hagrid to teach a class in how to be inconspicuous." Sirius had put his glass down during his laughing fit; he now reclaimed it, emptied it, and took the bottle from Snape to refill it again.  
  
"I am perfectly well informed of the biology informed Sirius." Snape snarled, emptying and refilling his own glass. "But this is not a sex education class. The students are to learn about the courtship rituals, nothing more."  
  
Sirius' face softened somewhat; much of the cruelty he had so indulged in as a boy had been purged from him by age, he understood that the lack of affection in Seveus' life was to be pitied not maligned.   
  
"so what have you learnt?" he asked, turning a CD case over and perusing its contents.  
  
"That muggles are extremely complex."  
  
"I think you'll find that's just humans." Sirius smiled, crossing to the CD player and putting on "Phil Collins greatest hits".  
  
"Still wizarding courtship is distinctly more straightforward. If you are born a pure blood into a well regarded family…  
  
"Like the Malfoy's" Sirius asked innocently  
  
"Or the Blacks" Snape countered, Sirius grinned. "Then you will be introduced to the right kind of partner early on. Everyone else meets either at school, an associated job, or other assorted social occasions. Simple."  
  
"I think you'll find that's how most muggles meet too."  
  
"yes, but all of this" Snape indicated the CD player with an outstretched arm; he was feeling distinctly loosened by alcohol and determined to express his confusion. "Wizards don't do this; chivalry, courtly love, songs about longing. Muggles are so indulgent."  
  
"maybe they're just more honest about the way they feel, celebrating desire rather than denying it."  
  
"Do we deny it?"  
  
"Maybe not on a personal level, but in public? Our world is so small Severus, so self contained. The way we feel about things is pre determined by years of history and example; things don't change quickly. Take you for example."  
  
"Me?" Snape refilled his glass again, secure in the knowledge that despite the Brandy he was still three drinks behind Sirius.  
  
"You like men." Snape made to protest but Sirius dismissed it with a wave.  
  
"Don't try and deny it Severus; we all saw the way you looked at Malfoy, and sometimes at Remus too. Well I know for a fact that Lucius often plays both ways and Remus made cow eyes at you far more often than I'd have liked, yet you're still sitting here alone watching muggle weepy's. And why? Because you daren't express your desire, at least if you were muggle you could write an indulgent ballad about it."  
  
Rant apparently over; Sirius flopped down into Snapes vacant chair.  
  
"Perhaps you're right." Snape said slowly "Still things are what they are and I have learnt to endure them. But what about you Sirius? As I recall you spent much of your school years bedding every vaguely attractive creature that moved, yet you too are here drinking with me rather than curled up in bed with some warm, yielding body. What's your excuse?" Sirius frowned, sipping at his whiskey.  
  
"As you so insightfully observed I did do my fair share of shagging around, but all that taught me was I could never really feel secure with anyone. After too many cold school mornings slipping out of a strange bed I decided it wasn't worth it anymore."  
  
"And after school?" Sirius turned to look at him, and Snape was struck by the haunted look in the other mans eyes.  
  
"Azkaban tends to limit the opportunities for seduction." Snape shuddered despite himself; wondering how he could have forgotten something so important, until Sirius spoke again.  
  
"So which ones have you watched?" Sirius asked rifling through the stack of videos piled on the desk.  
  
"The compilation and Robin Hood Prince of Thieves." Snape answered grateful for the distraction.  
  
"Ah, very romantic; but I'm guessing you found the Sheriff to be more your style." Snape smiled despite himself, and was pleased to find the look mirrored on Sirius' face.  
  
"So what next?" Sirius asked  
  
"Oh, I was not really planning on watching any more, I thought perhaps I would simply read the synopsis printed on the box." Sirius looked at him and blinked hard, twice.  
  
"Can this be the legendary Severus Snape speaking? He who is king of the anal retentive? Are you really planning to cut corners and prove you're human like the rest of us?"  
  
"That was my intention. Unless you have a better suggestion?"  
  
Sirius looked thoughtful a moment and then a broad grin dawned on his handsome features.  
  
"Perhaps I do."  
  
Some time later; much more intoxicated, the two men had managed to successfully perform a miniature re-enactment of most of the selected films. With Sirius directing his movements and feeding him suitable dialogue, Snape could honestly say he now actually had a good insight into muggle relationships, even if he didn't always approve.  
  
However it was when they'd come to 'Ghost' that the problems had started.  
  
Sirius stood facing Severus, swaying slightly he shook his head in a typically over excaudated drunken gesture.  
  
"No, no; come closer and do the line again." Snape sighed theatrically, but moved closer to the other man.  
  
"I'm dead Sirius" he deadpanned. Sirius shook his whole body in an expression of exasperation.   
  
"No. Look this isn't working. Let's switch places. You can be the girl and I'll be the dead guy." Snape went to move, but something in his drink fuzzy brain made him pause.  
  
"Wouldn't it work equally well if we just stayed where we are?" Sirius looked thoughtful.  
  
"No." he said finally "This is definitely where the girl stands." Snape shrugged but dutifully changed places.  
  
Charged by his new dramatic position of power Sirius reached for the other man, drawing Severus into his arms. Caught up in intoxication and the submissive nature if his new role, Snape went willingly. Holding him lightly; stroking the wisps of soft dark hair, Sirius perfectly delivered the line Snape had slaughtered just minutes before.  
  
"I'm dead Severus"  
  
"I don't care" Snape whispered, looking up into Sirius' perfect eyes. The moment held, then, responding to the unbidden urge Sirius bent and caught Snapes mouth beneath his own. Sirius felt the other mans mouth soften and open beneath him, emboldened he met Snapes tongue with his own; tasting, gently caressing the tender flesh. Gasping Severus finally broke the kiss, looking up at his friend with wide, dark eyes. Sirius simply returned the awestruck look and grinned.  
  
"Not my dialogue Severus, but I think your beginning to catch on."  
  
"Perhaps you'd like to experience the other aspects I've been able to grasp" Snape punctuated the last word with a meaningful caress of Sirius' robe clad groin. Sirius caught Severus swollen lips in another quick, almost chaste kiss.  
  
"Once more from the top!" he laughed, dutifully following Severus into the bedchamber beyond. 


End file.
